


Unexpected Events & Unexpected Results

by cupkakfrosting



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Canon Universe, Depression, Fluff, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hyperventilation, Ill add tags as i add chapters, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Langst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Vomiting, am i mean, angst first tho, eventually more serious topics, i guess im mean, idk when in canon it would fit in but yea canon universe, message me if it's gory enough for an archive warning or a change in rating, not in super detail but a warning so please be careful when reading, slightly gory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-03-25 22:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13844664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupkakfrosting/pseuds/cupkakfrosting
Summary: Lance gets hurt really badly on a mission and has to stay in the healing pod for a week, but the team notices other injuries that aren’t from the battle.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. this is unedited so apologies in advance. Hope you enjoy! (And please be careful what you read! Tags have been updated; take care of yourself)

Lance was expecting a couple sentries. It was small infiltration, that was it. So just a few. He couldn’t have been more wrong with his estimate. After Pidge had spent a minute hacking into the Galra control panel and giving him a green light to go ahead, the doors whooshing open, he stepped into the dimly-lit purple hallway, bayard up and ready to blast away.

His felt his stomach physically drop immediately, panic rising in his chest. There were at least 50 sentries who turned to look at him, weapons in hand. Lance’s eyes widened and he planted his left foot in front of his body. Bending his knees slightly, he began shooting frantically in every direction with his split second advantage, hoping to catch them by surprise at the very least.

“Shiro! Guys! Anyone! I REALLY need some backup here, ASAP!” Lance practically screamed into his comm. Sweat dripped down his face rapidly, Lance half-blinded by all the shots. By this point the sentries had begun firing back and Lance felt completely helpless. He yelped as a shot hit right next to his foot, making the mistake of looking down for a fraction of a second. He had stopped firing, but that was enough for the sentries to close in on him. Lance whipped his head around, the door he came through already closed. Lance gritted his teeth, cursing himself. He turned back to the sentries and tried his best to fight back. He fired a few shots but they were too close distance, and the first sentry to reach him easily grabbed the bayard from him and threw it across the hallway. Lance stood shocked for a moment but threw up his hands in defensive stance and hoped for the best.

“GUYS!” His voice seemed to rip as he yelled, receiving no response. The sentry to his right threw his arm out in a swift motion, successfully swiping Lance’s comm away just as he had begun to hear someone take a breath to speak. Lance furrowed his brow in anger. Everything was happening so quickly, not giving him enough time to react properly. Breathing heavily from continuously circling to see his enemies, Lance attempted throwing a punch in a random direction.

The sentry caught Lance’s hand in his fist before it could collide with his face. There was a moment where time froze and Lance’s face was drained of color. The sentry squeezed his hand over Lance’s fist. Lance felt his hand being crushed under the pressure, his bones feeling like they were being grinded into dust. Maybe they were. Lace screamed. He screamed and screamed, eyes blurring with tears as he saw blood dripping slowly down his arm. His vision began to darken and he begged himself to stay conscious.

The sentry, using his grip on Lance’s fist, practically tossed the poor paladin back to another sentry on the other side of the now enclosed circle. Lance kept screaming, his hand now a non-recognizable shape in front of him. He was flooded with pain again when the sentry that caught him and twisted his arm. One more sentry nearby raised his gun. Lance’s body was pumped too much with stress hormones that he hardly felt the hit in his leg and stomach, leaving ugly, raw, gaping holes. He fell to the ground, coughing up blood, more blood than he could imagine in his body at once. All he saw was red and red and more red, until eventually, while being shot more times and punched and kicked and being tossed around, just black.

…

“Lance? Lance, we’re coming! Lance, do you copy? Are you okay? Lance!” Shiro’s voice vibrated through the comm. He was outside the base in his lion, with the rest of the paladins, minus Pidge, who was still inside. Shiro’s hand flew across the control panel.

“Pidge? Pidge, are you still in there?” The other paladins had also heard Lance’s cry. “We need to go help Lance!”

Pidge was already running, out of breath. “I heard, Shiro, I’m going!” Their worry was clear from their tone of voice.

“Be careful! And cautious! I’m getting my jet and I’ll come down and help you okay, hold on!” He was beginning to panic because through the comm was only static.

Suddenly, the paladins heard something else through the comm. It was the sound of distant and muffled screaming, and faint sounds like blows landing.

“Oh god,” Hunk breathed, the first thing he said. As cliche as it sounded, time seemed to be going in slow motion to the paladins. It had really been less than a minute.

Keith finally found his voice, “Shiro, should I come for backup, too?

“No, Keith!” Allura’s harsh tone flooded through above the rest of the paladins’ voices. “Pidge may go, because they’re there already, but for now that’s it!” To the team, she sounded both annoyed and concerned at the same time. “If the danger’s truly great, Pidge can inspect and call in for backup. But it could be another of Lance’s pranks, so keep that in mind; we don’t need to send everyone in. This is meant to be a minor mission.” Everyone was silent for a moment. They could all see both sides of this situation and couldn’t really argue with the princess.

“Copy that, Princess.” Pidge was the first to speak.

“How close are you? Can we get a visual?” Shiro asked. After a moment, a live video feed appeared on everyone’s eyepiece, a slight up and down movement noticeable as Pidge swung their arms slightly in-frame.

“I was heading back to my lion after Lance was set with the door, but I think I remember the way back.” As they finished this sentence, the shaky footage stopped abruptly in front of a door as Pidge halted.

“I thought I left it open…” They said, nervous. “Did Lance close it? It doesn’t seem like he would if he was in trouble…” The team was silent.

“Do you hear anything?” Hunk asked anxiously. The video feed shifted to the wall as Pidge put their ear against the door.

“It seems a bit quiet… I’m gonna head in.” Pidge slammed their finger on the control pad, expecting to need to work it open, surprised when it slid open immediately.

“Ok, I’m in.” They raised their bayard in anticipation and the team saw a split tick of the scene in front of Pidge before there was a click of the feed ending.

“Pidge! Pidge, do you copy?!” Panic rose in Shiro’s chest. “Pidge, are you there?”

“Pidge!” Hunk, Keith, Allura, and Coran also began voicing concerns.

“Relax, guys. I’m still here. I just…” there was a sigh through the comm. “It’s better if you don’t see this.” Footsteps sounded as they walked across the room.

Shiro’s eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. Since when was Pidge, the youngest on the team and least experienced, more capable of seeing whatever was in that room?

“Well actually, more like I think Lance would like it better if you didn’t,” Pidge added. At this, Shiro slid forward in his seat, fits slightly clenched.

“Do you see him? Is he there, is he ok? What happened?” Worry poured through his words.

“Yea, I see him…” They heard shuffling as Pidge put their bayard aside. More ruffling sounds before others had the guts to speak up.

“Pidge, really, what happened? What do you see?” Keith asked, trying to hide his anxiety with feigned annoyance. “Please, just turn your feed back on.” Even Hunk, the kind man he was, was surprised by Keith’s usage of the word please.

“You’ll see soon enough.” Pidge seemed to grunt a little. “Jeez,” they muttered under their breath. Then, louder, “Although, I’m a little confused about what happened here. We’ll have to ask when he wakes up.”

“Pidge.” The whole team was startled by his sudden strict tone. “Pidge, tell me what’s going on. What happened with Lance.” Not a question. A statement, a demand that he find out what Pidge was talking about and how Lance was. “I need to know.”

Pidge took a deep breath in before saying “activate live feed.” The video that flashed to life in front of the team’s eyes practically stopped their hearts.

“Lance… Oh god, Lance…” someone whispered under their breath. The whole team was in shock and it could have been either or them or all of them at once.

“Lance…”

Pidge was lightly gripping Lance in their arms and half-jogging towards the exit point to get back to their lion. The video feed bobbed up and down but the team’s full attention was on Lance. Lance… he was completely limp in Pidge’s arms, and Pidge had grabbed his helmet on the other side of the room and placed it on his stomach, but even with that, it was hard not to notice the blood seeping around the rim of the helmet. Lance’s face both looked at peace and in pain at the same time, which was rather unsettling.

But the first things they saw were his hand and his leg. His right hand was deformed and misconfigured in such a way that it was difficult to discern between his individual fingers, if there were any separate fingers left to observe in the first place. Blood was absolutely everywhere. But there was even more blood pouring out of the multiple holes in his legs, which Shiro recognized as the result of direct, close-proximity shots. His stomach churned along with the others’.

Pidge spoke up, alarming the other paladins. “I know this looks so bad but the best thing to do right now is keep our heads clear and save the worrying until we get him to the castle and in a healing pod as fast as possible.” They tried, but there was still quivering in their voice. “Allura, Coran, can you guys get the healing pods prepped? And should I go to someone else’s lion so I can get some help to try to stop all the bleeding? God, there’s so much blood…” Blood was dripping, accelerating by the second, down Pidge’s arms. They began to jog a bit quicker while trying to keep Lance’s head relatively steady.

Shiro was the first to snap out of the complete shock. “Yea, yes. Yes-- Pidge, I’ll bring my lion down.” Just as he said this, Pidge finally stopped. They clicked the feed back off and carefully set Lance onto the floor. Pidge put on Lance’s helmet, tears glistening in their eyes at the sight of yet more blood when they lifted his head. 

“Lance, you better be alright…” They murmured. “Don’t you go dying on me.” After they finished securing the airtight visor, Pidge rested Lance’s head on their shoulder and lifted him again. “When you get better, I’m going to watch you eat because dammit buddy, you’re too light..” With that, they pressed the button and the door opened, and Pidge got a view of Black’s nose.

“Open up!” Immediately, they saw Shiro as Black’s mouth opened up and beckoned to her. Taking a deep breath, they stepped back and took a running start, leaping into space and landing in Black, whose jaw began to close soon after. Shiro quickly told the team and Black to head back to the Castle as fast as possible, which was positioned just a few dobashes away, but judging on the amount of blood Lance had lost, it wasn’t sure how long he had.

Shiro rushed over, and Pidge had to notice how over the past few minutes he seemed to have aged considerably, his concern and worrying having worn him down.

“Set him over here, quick!” He grabbed the box of first aid and pulled out as many bandages as he could. “If you can, try to put some pressure on his wounds, on the ones that look the worst.” Pidge did as told, laying Lance down before using their bloody hands to press into the places bleeding the most, which were his stomach and hand. There was one particularly large hole in his leg but Pidge only had so many hands to use.

“Guys, is everything ok?” Hunk asked with fear etched in his voice. “I mean I know it’s not but oh god…” Quiet, almost indiscernible sobbing could be heard over the comm, but it wasn’t just from Hunk.

Keith spoke up, too, again trying to hide his worry. “Is he worse than you thought at first? Will he make it to the healing pod?”

There were too many people speaking at once so Shiro and Pidge had no time to respond before Coran’s voice flooded the comm. “Healing pod is up and running, and we’ve started coming towards you, too. How bad are his injuries?”

And then Allura too: “I’m waiting at the Black Lion’s hangar, I’ve got a stretcher, just put him on it as soon as you land and we’ll bring him directly to the healing pod. Please, try to hurry!”  
Before Shiro could open his mouth, Pidge began to scream. “Oh god, Shiro-- I don’t know what to do, Shiro, Sh-- Shiro, there’s so much blood!” They had begin to lose their composure and was now crying and shaking. Shiro had been wrapping bandages as fast as he could and by the time he looked up, Pidge had an expression of horror on their face.

Their two fingers were at the base of Lance’s neck. Pidge’s eyes widened. “Shiro. Shiro, he doesn’t have a pulse, Shiro, what do we do, Shiro?!”

“CPR!” Shiro practically the bandages at Pidge and rushed to put the heel of his palm over Lance’s chest and began chest compressions. Panic was rising in everyone yet all most of them could do was sit and wait to reach the castle. After about half a dobash, while it seemed like multiple vargas to the whole team, the lions finally reached the castle. Each lion desperately flew as fast as possible into their hangar. As the Black Lion finally landed, Shiro had to take his hands off of Lance, not bothering to wipe the blood off, and scooped Lance up. Pidge was getting very affected by the reality of it all and was shaking so badly that all they could do to help was carry the extra bandages. Black’s Jaw opened and Shiro and Pidge saw Allura, alert, waiting in anticipation.

“Oh god, you’re finally here.” Shiro practically sprinted and deposited Lance on the stretcher, and they promptly rushed to get him to the healing pod. There were only a few ticks for the rest of the crew to see Lance up close before the healing pod hissed closed and his face got clouded over. Now, all the worried paladins could do was wait. Or, at least, that’s what it seemed like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :) I'd love any comments; hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

Lance had to be in the healing pod for over a week. Coran told them this with a disheartened face.

“I’m afraid this is one of the worst injuries Lance has ever gotten…” The team was crowded around the healing pod, still in their suits, half watching Lance’s face and half listening to Coran. “He has the many many external and visible wounds but the pod has also picked up on massive internal bleeding, as well as the huge amount of external blood loss.” He put hand on his moustache. “This doesn’t bode well for our blue paladin… He may still have some problems, even after the week healing.”

He brought up the castle control panel and frowned. “As you might have noticed, due to the multitudes of injuries and many times Lance has had to be in the healing pod, I’ve gotten Pidge to---” He was cut of by Pidge themself.

“He asked me to write a program. A-- a program to analyze some of the data from Lance’s injuries. They’re all compiled, things like blood loss and heart rate.” Pidge leaned over, eyes still visibly red from crying but seemingly recomposed, and tapped a few things on the healing pod’s control panel.

“As Coran was saying, this is… really the worst. For Lance.” They swallowed. “Looking at all the data and comparing, this is over 250% of the blood loss of his last bad injury.”

“This will really take a toll on his body, worse than before,” Coran added. He turned around to face the team. “I’m sure he’ll be okay, eventually…”

Allura glanced at the almost-peaceful expression on Lance’s face through the cloudy glass, hand on chin. “Coran, can you activate the special mode this time? Considering the severity of this...”

Shiro looked up. “What special mode?” He asked, intrigued. 

“Well, it’s something we never bothered to turn on before now, but it simply tells the healing pod not to look over any possible injuries it sees. It will inform us of anything unusual.” She frowned slightly. “No, not exactly that. What I mean is that the pod has an AI that can make decisions. The whole body is always scanned, every time, but many anomalies are actually just a normal change in body function due to the injury and is part of the body’s response.”

Pidge seemed to understand, nodding. “So basically what you’re saying is the healing pod can gloss over some abnormal things that it knows will get better once the main injury is healed?”

“Yes, exactly,” Allura responded. “I think it would be wise to turn on the mode that will tell the pod to let us know of all the possible anomalies just in case.”

“Oh we should definitely definitely do that,” Hunk chimed in. “That would be good.”

Coran nodded. “On it.” After a few taps, the pod chimed in agreement. However, Coran seemed to have something else on his mind, too.

“Coran, is something wrong?” Keith almost demand, leaning in. “Does it say something new?”

“It’s just updating me on Lance’s status with his blood loss…” He looked frightened for a moment. “This much seems to be very close to lethal to humans. The pod is suggesting a transfusion.” Hunk noticeably paled.

“Does the pod know his blood type?” Surprisingly, this was Keith. Coran and Allura turned to look at him, confusion on their faces. “Sorry, what? Are you saying humans have different variances of blood?” Allura asked.

“Yea, and depending on the blood type of the donator and the receiver, sometimes the body refuses to accept incompatible blood. It’s really dangerous, so we better find out what everyone’s blood type is and especially how much blood he needs.”

Pidge agreed with Keith and adjusted their glasses up their nose. “Allura, what does the pod say about the blood transfusion?” None of the paladins had properly learned Altean yet.

“It says we need…. Well in human units, I’m not sure. But I have Altean measuring instruments.” 

“Alright, cool.” Pidge looked at Coran again. “Can we get a sample of Lance’s blood to test? Do you have needles and stuff to test our blood, too?”

“Yes, I believe so.” They all took worried looks at Lance like they didn’t want to leave him in the healing pod alone, but started to head down the hallway.

“Hey guys..” Hunk called out apprehensively. “I think I’ll stay here to watch him; I don’t think I can stomach the blood work.. Come get me to test my blood later, okay?” He really did look very pale.

“Gotcha, bud,” Pidge responded, giving him a thumbs up. Before turning to follow Coran.

…

After the rest of the team left, Hunk took in a deep breath. He crossed his legs and sat down right in front of the healing pod, grabbing each elbow with crossed arms and looking up with a pained expression at Lance.

All Hunk could think about was how Lance looked, blood and raw flesh, after the mission. Hunk sighed. He was almost feeling guilty about not being there for Lance when he needed help, but he knew there was nothing he could have done to help his best friend.

He continued to sit there for a few ticks before a sudden realization poured into him and his blood ran cold. His head snapped up, eyes wider, shifting his gaze away from his own feet and back to his friend’s face.

With this new protocol for the healing pod, alerting them of everything and anything that seemed misaligned.. It would surely pick up the very things Lance had been meaning to hide for all these months up here in space. Hunk put his head in his hands. He would have to help explain to the team the things he knew, but even then, Lance hadn’t told him everything. Hunk would do his best to comfort his friend when he awoke to the fact that his team knew his secrets, but he knew it would be difficult and really distressing.

He was already beginning to dread the next week and the day when Lance woke up.

…

Deeper into the castle, half a varga later, the results of Lance’s blood came in. They had used some of the blood that had gotten all over Shiro and Pidge, and Allura had finally given them a close look, in all their bloody-armored glory, before telling them to go shower and change but be back as soon as possible. The paladins all did so, and within less than half a varga were back for the results. Pidge showed Coran what to do with the microscope and what to specifically look for.

“Guys, he’s type AB!” Pidge said excitedly, throwing their hands up in the air. “This is great! Now we don’t even need to test our own blood types since he’s a universal acceptor! Awesome!” Of course, they then had to go on to explain to Coran and Allura what this all meant.

“Oh, I see, yes. That is in fact perfect.” Coran stood in his signature thinking pose: feet together, straight back, leaning forward, caressing his moustache. “We need a rather large quantity of blood for the transfusion, and since all 4 of you are eligible to donate, neither of you will suffer from the amount of blood I’ll have to draw!” He seemed impressed. 

Keith took a step forward. “Woah, no so fast. We can’t just split it equally. We need to factor in our body sizes.” He pointed at Pidge. “I doubt Pidge’s body will have the same capacity as the rest of us to have a lot of blood drawn.” Pidge smirked at Keith.

“Yea, unfortunately, that’s true. Just gimmie a dobash..” They pulled out a notebook from one of the drawers and a pen from their pocket. Pidge had data on all the Paladins and quickly wrote out the calculations and showed Coran.

“This is how much to take from each of us, given your approximate conversion rate from the Altean measurements.” He took a look and nodded.

“Alright, I can do that.” He ushered them over and told them to sit before asking Allura to fetch Hunk.

Coran turned back to the paladins and unleashed the long, pointed, beautiful Altean needle. “Roll up your sleeves for me please, Paladins.”

…

The blood drawn from each Paladin was carefully deposited into the healing pod and was ready to be transfused. “Our work here is done, Paladins.” Allura spoke up. “It would be best to go get some rest now; it’s been a stressful day. We can check on him again tomorrow morning, and if anything serious happens, the pod will alarm the castle and wake us up, so no need to worry too much.” She gave them a warm smile.

“Yes, I guess that’s all we can do for now,” Shiro said. He and everyone else looked absolutely exhausted. He ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s get energized for tomorrow so we can see if there are any other ways to help Lance.”

Everyone else eventually agreed, although reluctantly. Pidge wanted to stay up and analyze Lance’s health data to see if there was some underlying reason for his injuries worse or if it was just chance, but Shiro said to wait for tomorrow. Hunk wanted to stress-bake, and Keith wanted to watch the blood transfusion to make sure everything worked out alright, but all Shiro said was “wait for tomorrow” and “he’s perfectly safe now, as long as his body isn’t too stubborn to get better” and that was that.

They all headed their separate ways to their rooms, unaware of the events soon to come.

…

Keith couldn't sleep. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t. He closed his eyes, opened them, closed them. Tried a eye mask. Rolled over many times. Tossed and turns. He just simply couldn’t get the thought of Lance out of his head.

He decided it had become useless to stay in bed when nothing would come from it so after a few vargas of sleeplessness, he finally groaned and got out of bed. The bed creaked under his weight, protesting. He was still wearing his normal clothe so all he did was stand up, fix his ruffled up jacket, and stepped out of his room.

Originally, his only plan was to walk the halls until his eyes started to slip, but of course, that’s not all that ended up happening. Without really knowing how, he had ended up in the healing pod room. He sighed. If the castle could have, it would have sighed back, for she had heard enough sighs today. 

Keith was worried. He knew that’s why he couldn’t sleep, but sometimes the fact or idea that he had finally learned to care for other human beings surprised him. He hadn’t had people on Earth that he particularly cared about, but since Voltron, things had been different. Granted, the emotions gained had both positive and negative effects, but either way, it was a lot to process. Sometimes he honestly didn’t know if they were more of a benefit or a nuisance.

He sighed again. The castle was done with sighs today. He turned around and returned to his room to keep attempting to fall asleep, to no avail.

…

Morning came too slowly, but when it did, the paladins, for once, inhaled their food goo as fast as they could and immediately after, ran to the healing pod to check on Lance.

“Coran, what’s his status? I should really learn Altean…” Pidge said.

“That you should, young paladin.” He squinted to read the long text on the healing pod’s control panel.

“Hey,” Shiro intervened, “did you all sleep well? I gotta admit, I didn’t sleep that great, but do you feel well-rested?” He raised his eyebrows, questioning them.

“Not so great,” Hunk said.

“Me neither,” said Keith.

“Yea, not amazing.” Pidge was the last to answer. “You?”

Shiro shook his head. “Me, too. We really need to remind Lance when he wakes up to not give us so many health problems just by getting hurt.” Slight chuckle.

“Oh my quiznack.” Coran exclaimed. “Shiro, can you call the Princess?” She was the only one who hadn’t shown up with the rest. “I think she’s on the bridge.”

“Why? What is it?” Shiro was getting worried, and rightly so.

“Please, just fetch her.” Shiro seemed unhappy but nonetheless left to get Allura.

Hunk was beginning to get racked up with an abundance of anxiety. Worry and fear and apprehension swept his mind over and over again. He knew they all cared about Lance and would want to help, but scenarios kept flashing in his head of all the terrible things that could go wrong and how Lance would feel and how he’d react and if he’d be okay with everyone knowing and how much information was enough to tell them for medical reason and what if he hated him after spilling the secrets and---

Hunk took a big, big breath and sighed. Damn, the castle was really sick of all the sighs, but it was inevitable.

Pidge snapped him out of it. “Hey, Hunk! You okay? You look really pale.” Hunk laughed nervously.

“Yea, I’m good, bud. Just thinking.” Not a total lie, but he was now beginning to sweat excessively, as if predicting more stressful moments soon, and it wasn’t wrong.

Luckily, that’s when the door flew open and Allura and Shiro jogged inside.

“Coran, what is it?” Allura sounded scared. “Is it something important? What happened?”

Her hair was barely staying up and her clothes seems disheveled, so she stopped for a moment to fix her hair and catch her breath, as well.

“I don’t fully understand it, but... “ Coran seemed almost in pain. “The pod, we updated to the full evaluation mode…”

Just then, alarms filled the castle. Everyone’s heads snapped up before realizing it was what the Alteans had meant that the pod would alarm the castle of important things.

Coran looked back down at the blue control panel. “Oh my quiznack…..” he said again. “Oh my quiznacking quiznack….”

“Coran, please, what is it?” Shiro asked, almost begging him. “What does it say?”

“I--- it says, it says..” Coran took a moment.

“The pod is informing me of some data that was previously overlooked but with the new setting has been brought to our attention to decide a course of action.” Coran look up to gaze directly into Shiro’s eyes.

“The pod originally said it found nutrition levels close to malnutrition, but the alarm was for it saying it has observed dozens of lesions across Lance’s stomach, arms, and legs. Some are new, some are old, but each not enough to be brought to our attention before. But… the pod seems to be saying... “ Coran stopped and looked at Lance’s face.

Allura took the few ticks to read over his shoulder. She paled. “... the pod seems to be sure that these wounds, they-- these wounds were probably self-inflicted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :) I'd love any comments; hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

There were a few ticks of silence before things sunk in. Everyone was frozen. Eyes traced over Lance’s body in the pod, willing to see if it was true, but to no avail.

“Wait.” Shiro’s voice cut through like a sharp knife. “Why does the pod think it’s self-inflicted? Couldn’t it just be collateral damage?” There was a slight quiver with his words. Allura took a breath in before slowly raising her finger to tap the button that seemed to be the equivalent of one saying “read more.” She scanned a few lines and turned to the still-in-shock paladins. Her face, too, was in shock, but showed a facade of no visible emotion. Coran shifted to read the same part too and shook his head slightly, looking wounded.

“The pod has made a well-calculated guess.” She turned and saw Pidge covering their face with their hands, trembling slightly. Through their fingers, they asked, “Why does the pod think it’s right? What could p--possibly be the reason it thinks that’s the answer?”

“Is there any way it could be wrong?” Hunk said in a soft voice, fully knowing that the pod was 100% correct, but still wishing it could turn out to be wrong.

Coran cleared his throat. “I’m afraid it is unlikely to be incorrect. The observations it’s made seem very logical and add up well to that conclusion.”

“Coran, Allura, please just tell us what the pod says,” Shiro said, hand on his face to attempt guarding against an incoming headache.

“Well,” Coran started, “we’ll be able to know more once he gets out of the pod, but the pod’s analysis says that the wounds are very thin and uniform, which is very unlikely to be from any accidental cause.”

Allura picked up. “It also said they were in clear lines and rarely intersected. That kind of pattern is consistent with those that who self-inflict wounds.” The team was silent again.

Pidge still stood covering their face, hiding slow tears. They weren’t the only one crying. Hunk had untied his bandana and was wiping his eyes. Keith, too, had wet eyes, though his tears hadn’t fallen yet. The only sound that emerged was the squeak of Coran’s shoes as he suddenly pivoted and ran out of the room, and no one could blame him. He had always seen Lance and the Paladins as his young and was protective of them, and sometimes enough was enough; he needed time to be alone.

Allura seemed the least affected. “I’m sorry to have to ask this, but… does anyone know anything at all that might be the cause of this?” She crossed her arms, fingers tightening around her upper arms. She looked down. “As I’m sure you’re all aware, once Lance wakes up, this is something that needs to be discussed with him.” Taking her eyes off the floor, she looked, in turn, into each of the paladins’ eyes. “Any information or even just suspicions may be helpful.”

No one said anything. But Allura’s eyes were brought to Hunk. He was fidgeting. He’d always been the kind to get nervous and fidget a lot but this time he was brushing his foot against his other leg and playing around with the bandana in his hands. Allura also noticed sweat glistening on his forehead, and a look of almost guilt was what had met her gaze earlier.

“Hunk,” she said softly. “Please, anything you might know could help us figure this out, to find ways to help.” She swallowed. “I know I may get annoyed or frustrated at Lance when he plays pranks or jokes around, but I definitely still care for him, and I know the rest of you do, too. Please, Hunk,” she said again.

“I-- I really don’t think it’s my place to talk about this.” Hunk was beginning to feel very conflicted. He wanted to tell his friends about Lance’s past but wasn't sure what Lance would prefer. Hunk couldn’t decide if it would bode better for Lance if Lance himself could tell the team everything and explain things properly and accurately, or if it would soothe his nerves to not have to tell the big things, only the smaller, more specific details.

“I honestly don’t know if he would want me to tell you guys.” His thumbs kept kneading the cloth in his hand over and over again in opposite directional circles. “I don’t know if he’d rather tell you himself…”

“Dude, Hunk.” Keith grabbed Hunk’s shoulders and stared into his eyes. “You need to tell us. Seriously, this is so important.”

Shiro added, “Hunk please,” and Pidge chimed in with a soft “please?”

Hunk took in his surroundings and then looked at Lance through the pod again. Keith released his grip. Hunk took a few steps forward and put his hand on the glass between him and his best friend. Taking a few deep breaths, he could almost hear Lance in his head saying “eh, it’s not a big deal, bud, you can do it!”

Even if Lance was angry with him later, it would be worth it because the team would be able to help and comfort him later on. They would be more understanding. Maybe Coran would even know about some obscure alien plant that could take the place of Lanc’es pills, which had run out months ago…

Hunk couldn’t take it anymore and decided he was done weighing the pros and cons. This would be more beneficial to Lance than harmful. He hoped.

Hunk had a grim expression on his face when he removed his hand from the pod and looked back at the team. “We might want to sit down for this. It’s a really long story.”

…

They had finally got themselves to peel their eyes away from Lance and to bring their worries into the sitting room. They all took a seat in the U-shaped couch, Hunk in the middle. On his right were Coran, who had recovered, Allura, and Shiro, and on his left, Keith and Pidge. They each sat apprehensively as they waited for Hunk to begin.

Hunk leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees, and threaded his fingers together. He started to open his mouth but stopped for a moment before doing so again.

“You guys have to promise to fully listen but to take my words as not the whole truth. Lance himself needs to explain for you to get the full story. Can you guys promise to do that? Listen to me, but more importantly, him?” Everyone around him was nodding, but he needed more than that. “You guys needa say it. It’ll help calm my nerves.”

They went around the circle, everyone saying “yes, I promise.” Hunk sighed, and again the castle wondered what was with humans and expelling audible gusts of air.

“Thanks guys. I think I can try to start now, but bear with me, okay?” More deep breaths.

“So you guys all know how I knew Lance a few years before the Garrison, right? We went to the same high school before we both ended up getting accepted into the Garrison. We were pretty close.” He chuckled a bit before frowning, writhing his hands together.

“We talked a lot and stuff and shared secrets, all that stuff best friends do. But he did eventually start telling me bigger stuff… One night, we were hanging out, you know, watching movies and talking shit about our teachers when he asked me if I could keep a secret. He called it a ‘big movie cliche.” Some of the team members seemed to stiffen at that.

“So of course I said yes, 100%. And so he went on to tell me that the reason why he was so elated at school today, like he was all smiley and wasn’t as annoyed at annoying people and stuff… He said just last night he had finally been able to pick up his first prescription and was just really happy.” Hunk looked up at his friends. He didn’t say anything, hoping the team would just catch on, but no one said anything else, just facial expressions of slight confusion.

“Go on,” Shiro said gently, placing a reassuring hand on Hunk’s shoulder for a moment. Hunk looked up and gave him a small smile and swallowed, clearing his throat.

“So then Lance went on to explain what he meant. He had finally, finally gotten his prescription, after a month of waiting… His prescription for antidepressants.”

“His therapist had prescribed it to him, and he was diagnosed with depression earlier, and--” Hunk stopped and was crying lightly into his hands. Pidge came up to him and gave him a hug, trying to soothe him. They too were teary eyed.

The rest of the team seemed too shocked to say anything. Allura looked down at her feet and Keith seemed very focused on his fingernails, but the gears turning behind his eyes were apparent. Shiro’s jaw was clenched. Coran looked absolutely devastated.

“Hunk, I’m sorry for this, but is there anything else you can tell me about this?” His eyes looked both angry and sad at the same time, and neither emotion was directed outwards.

Hunk sniffed before looking up again. “Yea.. yea. A few months after this all… well he had told me he-- he used to do things to himself before he got his therapist who helped him out, before he told his parents and asked for help and--” he paused. “Sorry for rambling, guys. But yea, a few months after, he got into a bad episode and stupidly decided to stop taking his pills, and he-- he got really bad. Missed a lot of school, and--” tears flowed freely now.

“At one point he tried to jump off the school’s roof. The gym. So, you know, it was tall. And I-- I had to stop him. I called 911, got him to the hospital. He got back on his pills and was better, bit by bit. I stayed by his side as much as I could.” Hunk just kept talking and shifted his gaze down to feet as he did, unwilling to look at the team’s faces.

“A year later, we got into the Garrison, and he told me to keep things a secret, since he was better. And you know, he really was, from my viewpoint. But then Voltron happened, and he didn’t bring all his pills with him and we’ve been out here a while and-- he ran out, probably a few months ago, and he told me-- he-- he told me again to keep it a secret, that he’d be okay, that he’d come to me if he needed help, if he was planning to do anything--” Hunk started bawling.

“I-- I should-- sh-- should have realized! I could h--have s-s-sttopedd this! Of course he got worse! Oh, god, I should have been more there for him, should have noticed he was feeling this way again! I--I’m so s-s-sorryy, Lance!” His voice cracked repeatedly, tears rolling over and over again over his cheeks.

At this point, Pidge was sobbing, too, the two of them collapsed on the floor together, arms around each other for comfort and stability. Shiro was also crying, although less intensely, but he knew his bed would be full of tissues the next morning, if he ever got to sleep after breaking down alone.

Allura had gotten weak at the knees and sat down, elbows on her knees and head between her hands.

Keith had sat down next to her and was staring intently at the ground, but tears were still silently dripping onto the floor.

Coran was arguably in the worst shape. He was crying and crying and shaking, all without sound. His voice was incredibly shaky as he tried to keep his composure.

“I am going-- going to go check Lance’s corridors for anything he might have-- anything he might have used.” He was gone without another word and no one could blame him.  
Time seemed stagnant for a few moments, each paladin trying to process their own thoughts.

Siffling a little, Hunk spoke up. “Hey guys, maybe we should take some and go back to our rooms. Maybe think about what to say to him and what to talk about when he’s out of the pod. I don’t know, maybe it would help us to be alone for a bit. We can talk at breakfast tomorrow?”

“Yea, I agree, Hunk,” Shiro said. “That would be beneficial to all of us. All of that was… a lot to take in, and I don’t think any of us can properly talk about anything yet.” He was doing his job as the leader, but the team didn’t fail to notice his eyes were red, too.

With that, the team picked themselves up, doing their best to stay strong by drying off their eyes, and went off to their respective rooms with more than enough to process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :) I'd love any comments; hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments! Sorry for not responding often; I've got a lot going on, but it's really nice to read them, so thank you so much! :) I hope you enjoy this next one, and I'm working on the rest, too!

That night would prove to be a very, very long one for each member of team Voltron. It was unending, unsteady, emotional, and many other practically indescribable things. Everyone felt many things in common and yet countless individual feelings as well. This night would likely never be forgotten.

Especially the Castle, with all the sighing that went on.

Everyone retreated to their rooms after their earlier group conversation, minds whirling and bodies incredibly tired. By the castle’s time, it was past midnight, and everyone, even Pidge who was used to a far later bedtime, were more tired than they could remember being.

Pidge knew it was from all the stress and crying and knew they were probably all dehydrated. Before turning the last corner to their chambers, Pidge turned and waved bye to Hunk, the last branching-off from the team to their room. Walking the last stretch, Pidge’s steps were lethargic, head full of thoughts yet also empty. There was too much to think about that their brain practically shut down from overload like an overheated computer.

Pidge finally reached the door and entered, making an immediate beeline to their bed and flopping onto it, legs bent over the edge diagonally. They put their hands up in the air and stretched for a bit before sighing and sitting up. Pidge looked rather like a mess. Lopsided glasses sat on their nose, and behind the lenses were pink, swollen eyes. They felt like they aged a decade in the past day. Pidge’s hair was sticking out in odd directions, due to all the hugging and static.

Swinging their legs a bit with the few inches between them and the ground Pidge took of their glasses, glancing at the tear stains for a moment before placing them carefully onto the bedside table. Pidge ran their fingers through their hair and almost chuckled. They could imagine Lance’s feigned look of horror at their hair, hands over his mouth, and his comments about how intrepid Pidge’s hair was. A smile smile rose on their lips. Pidge loved Lance and his boisterous humor.

They slid up out of bed and made their way to the bathroom to look at themself in the mirror. They put their palms on the counter and leaned forward, squinting without their glasses. Pidge looked even more worn out than they imagined. They knew it was mostly because of having to see Lance and finding him and his shape and how bad it was…

Pidge shook their head, trying to rid their head of the horrific memory. They knew Lance was in the pod now, and would be alright, even after all the damage his body had taken. Even though it was more damage than had originally been visible.

Pidge stood up straight and leaned back, hoping to stretch their back and crack it, but their muscles were sore and unable. Sighing once more, they turned the faucet on and cupped their hands, splashing cold water onto their face a few times, hoping to clear their mind. After putting the towel back from drying and flipping the light switch on the wall outside the bathroom, they once again headed back to their bed. Pidge kicked off their shoes, leaving them lazily at the floor to the side of the bed, threw the covers back, and slid in. 

…

Hunk waved back at Pidge and watched them walk off for a moment before turning to his door. He sighed and felt like his brain was exploding. Quickly, he opened the door, stepped inside, made sure the door closed completely before placing his palm on the wall to steady himself and his jello legs. He was feeling light headed and rubbed his other palm back and forth on his forehead, now coated with sweat.

He kept thinking about all the secrets he had just told the team. He knew it was necessary, considering the situation, but nevertheless couldn’t feel guilt-free. There was no way to feel like he hadn’t just betrayed his best friend’s trust. Lance had been through hard times and confided in Hunk and Hunk wasn’t sure how Lance would respond. Hunk had revealed secrets that were kept between them for so long and now he would wake up it simply wouldn’t be a secret anymore and he might freak out and might yell or be upset or worse, cry.

Hunk was beginning to notice his heavy breathing: loud, harsh sounds that filled the otherwise still air. His hand on his forehead was now slick with sweat and Hunk could feel his shirt beginning to feel too hot. He moved his hand from the wall and the other off his forehead and headed for the bathroom, one hand moving to his chest to try to calm himself.

Hunk took a few steps before losing his balance and leaning onto the wall again. His breathing was too deep and fast and he knew it. He was hyperventilating.

He stepped out again for the bathroom, hands and feet now tingling, with the sensation rising up his arms and legs. He told himself to stop thinking about Lance and to let himself slow his breathing down, and to some extent, it helped. He shuffled along and finally reached the sink after an eternity of steps and his chest heaving. He managed to turn the faucet on and cupped his hands, which were now shaking, and gathered cold water, throwing it into his face. His body was still far too hot, but his fingers couldn’t grasp anything properly, so all Hunk could do was attempt to turn off the water with his elbow and then sink to the ground to focus on calming down.

He leaned his head against the counter and put his thoughts back to Lance, but in a different view than earlier. Hunk knew for a fact that Lance would benefit from what Hunk told the team. It would help everyone understand and try to help. It would lead to getting better, and Hunk knew that it would be okay if Lance was mad because of him, simply because it would get better for him in the future, and that’s what Hunk really cared about. Lance would have the opportunity to get better and that’s what mattered. If Hunk hadn’t said anything, it would have been more traumatizing for Lance to have to explain everything. That’s what Hunk convinced himself; he was nearly certain it would be easier for Lance this way.

He closed his eyes and imagined Lance in the future, being able to smile more and never having another thought that would ever lead him to a situation similar to the one on the roof of the Garrison. Hunk imagined the whole team being able to be happy and have genuine fun, including Lance. Hunk knew this future would be attainable and they just had to reach it.

Unfortunately, these calming thoughts also lead to other, more negative, thoughts. Hunk remembered that Lance had told him, had promised, that he’d stopped hurting himself. But that was obviously a lie. The pod had proved that. He said he was okay when he was much worse off than Hunk had let himself think he was.

He let out a sob. His breathing had finally calmed, but now warm tears began sliding down his cheeks as he realized how he hadn’t realized how bad of a place Lance was. His mind almost began to blame himself, but immediately he dismissed the thought. Hunk knew he was a good friend. He loved and cared for Lance and did everything for him, and wouldn’t let himself get caught up in any storms of thoughts that were even close to the black hole of negativity that he knew Lance has to deal with.

Hunk would do anything for his best friend. He would hug Lance and cry with him and laugh with him and get him out of bed on tough days and help him learn to smile again. Hunk was determined. He would do any and everything to help Lance get better. No matter what.

…

Pidge was still in bed, awake, many dobashes later. They couldn’t fall asleep. No way. Eyes opened or closed, on their back, side, or stomach, Pidge just couldn’t sleep. After only a few dobashes, Pidge’s thoughts had began to run rampant. They kept replaying last night’s scenes over and over in their head. For a while, all Pidge could see were the image of what scars would look like littered across Lance’s body. The looks of hopelessness or despair or numbness that surely would be on Lance’s face when he inflicted the wounds. The dark, heavy thoughts that must have accompanied it.

Pidge kept cycling through these thoughts with seemingly no escape. Eyes wide open now, they were trying to wrap their thoughts around the idea of why Lance would do that to himself. Pidge themself didn’t have experience with any clinical mental illnesses and couldn’t exactly understand. But they at least could acknowledge that to themselves. Pidge would do their best to understand but they knew it wouldn’t ever be a full, complete understanding, and that would be okay. Their care for their friend would be enough.

Pidge shifted in bed again for the hundredth time, and tried closing their eyes again, but then couldn’t let go of what Hunk had told them. Lance had been on antidepressants. Smiley, cocky, arrogant, laughy Lance had been on antidepressants. As shocking as that had been, Pidge’s blood had run below absolute zero when they heard that Lance had nearly jumped off a building. 

Pidge curled up into the fetus position and held the knees up, holding their elbows with the opposite hand. They wished they had known Lance at that time. They could have helped him. But Pidge still knew in the back of their head that if even Hunk couldn’t have been enough help, Pidge wouldn’t have been, either.

Thinking about all this had produced more tears so Pidge reached their arm out to their nightstand and grabbed the tissue box, knowing the tears wouldn’t end soon, not with all the thoughts racing through their head.

…

Hunk eventually calmed down and decided he needed to let his body and brain rest just as much as he needed to let Lance rest, too. He would definitely have more time in the next week to sort through his thoughts, and didn’t doubt that he would, so he finally hauled himself off the bathroom floor. He wiped his eyes and face, looking at himself for a moment before switching the light off and heading for bed. It had been quite a while since getting back to his room and he was exhausted, immediately falling into the bed.

…

Both the green and yellow Paladins woke up the next morning, tear stains decorating their skin and engulfed in a soft pool of used tissues.

…

The Castle hadn’t been able to rest that night either, not with 6 sources of loud sighing and crying. It supposed this week would be quite restless for all the beings involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :) I'd love any comments; hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the hiatus, but I'm trying to get back into writing and hopefully this isn't that terrible haha. (p.s, tags are updated)  
> (Also just btw, this takes place somewhere in the timeline when it's still Real Shiro)

Keith was completely overwhelmed with emotions. Of course, a glance at his face wouldn’t be enough to tell, not unless you really looked at him. He was devastated and felt possibly the worst he’d ever felt. He was just inexperienced with how to deal with and express these strong emotions.  


After the team had said goodnight, he promptly returned to his rooms, trying to supress the images of Lance’s face and beaten body from popping up into his head.  


Once the door was closed and locked behind him, he was able to breathe a bit better. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, trying to relax his muscles. His body felt tense, but he knew it would be nearly impossible to really relax.  


For a moment, Keith shifted and held his head in his hands before deciding he couldn’t let himself break down. He needed to try to stay strong for Lance, for when he got better, so he could be helpful to get him to be happier.  


Keith just really wanted to hope and believe that Lance could find a way to be truly happy after everything Hunk had said he went through. Keith knew it wasn’t likely that there would be a way to get his meds, but he had faith that the team could comfort Lance.  


Keith just really really hoped that he would be a part of that.  


After a moment of silence, Keith let himself move again. He felt like he was on autopilot when his feet took him to his nightstand. He knew what his subconscious wanted him to do. It was only then that Keith started to notice the trembling in his hands and fingers when he went to open the small drawer. His breathing quickened and with a sharp inhale, he grabbed the handle and threw the drawer open.  


He saw the light hit his knife. It really was beautiful. Keith picked up the knife gingerly, hands still unsteady. Shifting the angle, he could see an array of light refractions its smooth surface. For a moment, the corners of Keith’s mouth began to rise, but after a short moment, his face fell.  


Keith was holding a knife. A knife. Probably something similar to what Lance had used to–  


He couldn’t keep anything bottled up any longer. It was at that moment that Keith fell to his knees, dropping the knife, and began to sob.

…

He was pale and nauseous and knew what was coming. Shiro went straight for the bathroom as soon as he got to his quarters. His slippery with sweat hands grasped at walls to pull himself easier to the toilet. Falling to the floor, he immediately gripped and took as good a hold as he could on the ring of the toilet and retched. His knuckles whitened with the pressure of squeezing them as his whole body tremored with each heave. He tried his best to breathe, but more substance was pushing its way up and out of his stomach so Shiro painfully let his body finish what was necessary.  


After multiple dobashes, his heaves became dry and he knew he was finally done. Face and clothes soaked with perspiration, as well as vomit dripping off his lip, Shiro took a breath and leaned against the wall.  


Shiro felt awful. And more than just physically. All his meals of the last day had been flushed out of his system and he was sure to be dehydrated, but what hurt most was his head and his guilt.  


As his chest rose and fell heavily, still recovering, Shiro’s brain began recalling past painful memories.  


He took his head in his hands and groaned. He couldn’t stop it. Shiro felt absolutely crushed with the news of Lance, but the descriptions had reminded him over and over again about his time as the Champion. He had almost run to his room after the talk with the Paladins.  


He had seen so many deaths, both on the field but also in the cells. So many people had decided it was better to take their own life than stay in the horrible, gladiator-like system. Shiro had tried so hard, done so well up until now, but the reminder from Lance sent him into another spiral.  


By now, Shiro had put his head between his knees and was squeezing his head in anguish. Eyes closed, visions flashing with horrible images he had seen, all Shiro could think about was how it was mostly his fault those prisoners did what they did. The captives didn’t want to go up against the Champion. They chose a different death.  


Shiro couldn’t let himself be responsible for yet another suicide. Some of it was his extreme guilt, but most was who it was and how much more control and influence he had this time around. Lance, his teammate, his friend. Shiro knew he had to do his damn best to comfort Lance when he came to.  


As the visions ended and the headache subsided, Shiro sighed, leaning his head back onto the wall. He was also aware that, as the leader, he couldn’t continue on as a hypocrite like this. He knew fully well that he would need to formally bring up his trauma with the team. Of course, he was aware that Lance definitely needed immediate attention and help, but he couldn’t possibly say that he himself needed none.

…

Keith was only crying for a few ticks when he felt the stinging on his palm. He could see through his blurred vision that the knife had left a long strike down his right palm when he had dropped it earlier. Keith blinked and the line grew wider and a darker red.  


He jumped up and cursed himself. By now, Keith couldn’t have stopped his crying, so instead he let the tears flow as he held his hand on the way to the bathroom. Keith took ahold of the spare bandages he had in his emergency first-aid kit, wrapping it around his hand after rinsing out the wound.  


Before he could turn to leave, tears stopping, he saw an angry red color seeping through the bandages. Sighing, Keith reached back into the kit and began wrapping another few layers of bandages around the injury.  


Then, he started to cry again, harder than before. His hands went back to trembling as his imagination began to run rampant, imagining Lance in a similar situation, digging through the first-aid kit to find bandages to cover up what he had done. On purpose. Not on accident.  


He started to wonder how many times Lance had been standing like he was, bleeding over the sink, applying bandage upon bandage. He wondered how many times, if any, that Lance regretting doing it.  


But worst, Keith started to think about what Lance had been thinking about. He wondered if Lance had low self-esteem, even with his cockiness, or if it was just a way to release emotions, or what kind of coping mechanism it was, or if he felt good, or like the pain, or…  


All Keith knew 100% for sure was that it was unhealthy. Lance wasn’t feeling well and had picked and unhealthy way to deal with it and it broke Keith’s heart.  


Standing up straighter, Keith suddenly knew he needed to find out what exactly Lance had done to his body. He wasn’t able to explain why, but he needed to. He had to know the aftermath of his friend’s dark thoughts, so he could be able to help him in the future.  


The bandages finally held the blood flow in Keith’s hand. He stared at it, eyes seemingly done crying. He knew that it would be a huge invasion of Lance’s privacy, but he knew it needed to be done. Besides, Coran said he was going to search Lance’s rooms. Keith began convincing himself that it was alright, and for Lance’s benefit.  


But that didn’t stop Keith’s stomach from jumping with anxiety and guilt as he shrugged on his jacket and slipped out of his room.

…

Shiro managed to get himself back up onto his feet after giving himself time to think. He wobbled over to the sink and cleaned himself up as best he could. He knew he should probably go shower again, but he really was so exhausted. He gave himself a pass. He turned off the lights, closed the door, and headed through the dark to his bed. He had purposefully avoided looking into the mirror because he knew his current physical and emotional state must have left him looking half-dead, so he let it be.  


Finding the wooden frame of his bed, Shiro shoved the blankets aside, slipped into bed, and tucked himself in. He was tired beyond anything like he’d been before and knew that a good night’s sleep would be incredibly helpful.  


So he tried to sleep.  


He couldn’t.  


His thoughts kept wandering to Lance. Shiro knew he should have seen the signs, should have known that something was up. He curled up underneath the blankets. He couldn’t believe how he could have missed everything. He thought he had known Lance.  


Shiro shook his head after a moment, realizing his flawed thought process. Lance wasn’t a completely different person now that he knew about this. It was just another aspect of him. Shiro could fully understand, personally, that emotional trauma could have a lasting impact, but of course he knew it didn’t alter any personalities. Shiro knew that.  


That’s when Shiro started to think about all the times he had lightly scolded Lance, or the times when Lance subtly skipped meals, or when he left to go to his room before dinner had finished. Shiro had never paid much attention to that because he knew that sometimes people just wanted some alone time. But of course, now he knew that it wasn’t healthy alone time.  


Shiro began to tear up. He had thought he was totally cried-out after the long, emotion-filled day, but apparently not. Tears continued to fall, and while the back of his mind told him he needed to be stronger for the team, he knew he couldn’t do it forever. He let himself cry alone, apologizing to Lance, under his breath, over and over again.  


“I’m so sorry, Lance. I wish I could have been there for you more. I’m sorry Lance. I promise I’ll be there for you from now on. I’m so sorry, Lance.” Shiro muttered this repeatedly until his eyes were crusted over and his voice was hoarse with use.  


“I’m sorry.”

…

Keith walked silently through the Castle’s halls. It must have been around 3 in the morning in Castle time, if Keith had to guess. His footsteps echoed softly as he took each determined step, closer and closer to Lance each time.  


He was pretty sure he would end up at least somewhat regretting this, but he trudged on nonetheless. Lance was important to him. He was willing to take risks.  


Clenching his fists and biting his lip, Keith continued down the identical hallways for quite some time, but stopping occasionally at the sound of his teammates’ crying through the relatively thin walls. The noise hurt Keith more than he was willing to admit to himself.  


He kept going, getting closer and closer to the healing pods. His heart started beating uncomfortably fast, knowing the invasion of privacy he was about to commit.  


He reached the room, stopping suddenly, eyes looking through the glass door at Lance’s healing pod. Taking a deep breath, he stepped through the door and headed towards his friend.  


Keith slowed his pace as he got close up to the pod. He glanced at the screen but was suddenly reminded of how much he hadn’t thought this through when he remembered and saw that everything was in Altean. He remembered there were some books somewhere in the Castle he could use to translate, but it was way too late, and he was far too tired. Keith looked over his shoulder with remorse for his badly thought-out plan, turned back to Lance, and jumped.  


Lance’s piercing eyes were wide open and staring back into Keith’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this (or didn't), feel free to drop a comment! Always appreciated. (p.s. see any mistakes/inconsistencies? do tell; I have no skills with editing) Also, please don't repost my work. Thanks! (p.p.s. comments are super great and motivate me so please do consider dropping a comment even if it's short! :D )


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